My 11 wishes for the upcoming 11th November 2011 (11.11.11)

Tomorrow will be a very special day since it's going to be 11,11,11. For me very special day, I would like to make 11 special wishes, and I truly hope it will come true and make my life happy.

1-From tomorrow on, please let me be a better person with a clear goal that lead me to my bright future
2-From tomorrow on, I wish to beloved by everyone I know ( family, relative, friends, neighbor, classmate)
3-From tomorrow on, please never show me what sadness, sorrow, hurtful, and tears is like.
4-From tomorrow on, I wish to beloved, care, and respect from the guy I love and who would truly love me as who I am.
5- I wish not to feel lonely anymore
6- I wish to be independent in terms of earning money.
7- i wish to have a very successful business and job.
8- from tomorrow on, I hope I will be living with a true smile on my face
9- from tomorrow on, please show me the way to happiness
10- from tomorrow on, I wish my parents and sister to be as happy as I will be and healthy.
11- and from tomorrow on, I deeply hope I will be able to make everyone proud of me and look up to me and that every girls would take me as their ideal.

Hope tomorrow is really a better and special day :)

Dear Mr. blog

As i promise to continue and finish my previous post, here I come.

And I come with an answer. Now I know the reason why I am not happy when I should have been.

我从来没有说过我爱你，
不是我没有感觉.
我不是无情的，
是因为我害怕受到伤害获得的爱。
我怕我的心痛,
我怕你骗我.
我怕当我爱你的时候，你不再爱我.
我怕你改变.
我害怕失去你,
我害怕孤独.
我真的很害怕见到你走开当你知道我也爱你。

我不想受骗,
我讨厌被弃置.
我不想让我心痛, 也不想在这里看到你离开我
我不想没有你的生活.....

你说你爱我.
你的行动告诉我，你真的爱我.
但我仍然怕你会改变.
I am afraid this is just a dream....

I miss you so much BLOG :D

Dear Mr. Blog:



It has been such a long time that I have abandoned you, but I know that Mr. Blog is very kind and still welcome me anytime I want to come and visit you.



You know what? 2010 is probably the best year in my life so far. Many strange things happen in this year and I feel good and happy all the time. I almost forget that I used to be emotional and upset. However, I started to feel that again recently. Actually, I like to be happy, and I suppose to be happy at this time but why I feel sad?? (to be continue...)

One last post before 2010

Finally, it is the end of 2009. Today people are traveling to different place to celebrate and have fun especially to count down while my day is just the same as everyday. I go to school normally and come back home and that's it. I am all alone. :(

I wish tomorrow everything will be totally different as tomorrow is new year 2010 I wish:
I am not alone again and I wish I am not invisible like this year. Hope there's a miracle and change everything to be better for me.
My new year resolution is too much to write it down...let's see if I can actually do it.

Good bye 2009....muahhh
welcome 2010...yeahhhhh!!!!!!

so confusing...

it's been such a long long time that I havent come to my blog. well...I am busy since the school start again this year. and even now, when I am typing this post. I was just keep typing without caring about any mistake, organise it or have any proper plan. It just a free writing to make me feel better. I write whatever pop up in my mind and those thing keep changing all the time. I am sorry if it make u as a reader feel confuse while reading this post. Like u have no idea what is going on. I might talking alittle bit about this and than go alittle bit about the other thing. Simply because I don't understand myself too. I kinda feel upset and disappointed.

I don't really want to use my blog to complain thing about life. I used to try to be professional and post sth that might be useful. Yet, I can't avoid it. I have no one to tell. Actually, I do have many people to tell but sometime I feel that they are get bored of listen to my complain and I dont really want to disturb them any more. It's strage right? that I said I didnt want to tell anyone but come right away to this blog n post everything here. well...blog is alittle bit different. 'My story will be post here and will be read by many ppl even s1 I dunno. So, those ppl will know my story but they might be interesting to read cus if not just get out of here. I am not telling you. I just wrote it out to release my...my stress, my sad feeling. So, it's already there for ppl to read if they want to and leave it if they don't.

All right, I might going to far. You might wonder what is really going on? what is the problem? Am I upset? Angry? and what was the reason? why?

Again, it's nth much beside life. The word life is short but it's a huge words. It's sometime make ppl feel tired of it. It's not what always going well and perfectly alright like what u expect it to be. It often so complicated and so complex with many difficulty and problems. It's make ppl feel really tired at the end of the day and hoping that tmr, the new day, might be better. The new day won't be the same and that everything in the next day would be the happy ending. But, is that really happen when tmr come? does everything seems to change completely? I meant, u still the same ppl doing the same thing.

Also, the world is not big butnot small neither. ppl actually live on the same planet but different world. they experience different thing and meet different ppl. Sometimes, you body, ur behavior do sth different from what u want urself to behave. You actually know what is right and what is wrong to do, but, still, you make a mistake. You make everybody judge u wrong. You make the bad first impression and no one seems to care abt u. in contrast, you are not like that but it just hard to be real. It's hard to be u with many ppl around. I meant, what they see is not you at all.

who's care? I dun care and no one will care. just ignore it? be rude? be mean? no that's not what u want ppl to think abt u that way. but ppl are bad u know. they are just unbelievable. scary and cunning, tricky, cheated....so should u adapt in that environment by being mean, tricky too? should u? should I? should we?

One more thing, why do ppl have to feel jealous of the other? why don't just do u best with what u have? why have to be envious with the other? I know that no one gonna come n answer such a question I asked and in fact I am not asking anyone to answer this. I just want to complain. Have my voice heard. Make me feel better and that's it.

I know I sound so mean and rude in this post. It's like I didnt care abt other ppl at all. Even the way I type today. No capital letter when I start the sentence and I used lots of informal words showing that I dun really care abt the reader. whether ot not they understand what I am writing abt. Okay...I think this's enough. I feel alot better now and I might go to bed too :) thanks for reading my random confusing silly post. Night night..zZzZzZzzz....