Well, it's a shame to confess that I keep repeat what I hate about myself.
I got my "Take-Home exam" on Friday last week and the deadline is Friday this week (Midnight).
I have one week to do it, to write it as beautiful as I can but...
I started to do it on Thurday (just one day before the deadline) .
I never have a clear view on how to write such a legal analysis, but then my lecturer sent us a sample with a clue about the important issue that are present in the case.
How stupid I was...I didnt search for more sample of memorandum. Memorandum??? what is that? how to write it?? I have no idea. My friend did search for different style of memorandum. They could write a very nice one while mine is a mess.
I spent some time on Thurday morning to do it and sleep for the whole afternoon, then off to land law class in the evening. I got back home continue alittle bit and then go to bed.
Friday has come, I woke up at 9am and start doing the exam again at 9:30am.
I had lunch at 11:30 and then took a nap until 4:00pm. while I am taking nap 3 of my friends were having a meet up at school to work on the exam together. They work really hard while I enjoy sleeping at home. After I woke up, I have some snack and then go shopping with my parents at the New mall that just open 3 days ago (City Mall)
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I got back home at 9:00pm and finished my dinner at 9:30pm. I try to finish my work no matter how, because it's almost 12:00am. While I am doing it, I also chat with 2 friends of mine. One is just went to US last week the, other one is having a birthday party today so I just drop by to say happy birthday. I also reply some comment on facebook.
Can you believe that?? I spent more time having fun than spending on my exam, so finally I did it....yeah!!! done. After I have sent it to the lecturer, Me and my friend exchange one another work.
I opened my friend's work and read it.....
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It was so nice. Everything is clear and going step by step with proper result while mine is chopping in piece and leave it out without a solution.
And everytime I did it, I always feel regret and keep saying the same nonsense word like:
- If only I pay more attention to it
- If only I do more research
- If only I read more books
- If only I take it alittle bit more serious
- If only I share my idea with my friend just like they did
- If only I am not this stupid
- If only I am not careless
- If only I spend more time on it
- If only I started to do it earlier
- If only...........................................
It's still (IF) but it is not. It's too late
I hate myself for didn't do or try my best
I hate myself for always regret at the end of the day
I hate myself for not realized it on time
I hate myself for my stupidity.......... and that's what I want to say.
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3 comments:
Procrastination is just a traitor to all of us. But even I know that, I'm always having problem with my time management, it's like what u have written, we couldn't control ourselves so well all the time.
Anyway, hating urself about it only makes u feel even worse, dear. Believe in urself...have all the fun u wish, and still stay in touch with ur inner clock. *Wink*
^^ thanks for encourage me^^ hug*
U r so kind too...okay m off to my chinese class hay...pye pye
sweetie...its ll be okay ne, dont think too much okay, just remember not to repeat ur old mistake ne ^^
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